


a simple gift as casual as a pebble

by FullmetalChords, mother_hearted



Series: Toki and Meg's Faerghus Husbands AU [4]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Endearments, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insecurity, M/M, No War AU, Oral Sex, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:53:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25956301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FullmetalChords/pseuds/FullmetalChords, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mother_hearted/pseuds/mother_hearted
Summary: Words have never been particularly difficult for Claude… at least, not until he met Dimitri. He knows how to talk circles around any problem he faces, but has always found it difficult to own up to exactly how he feels.The one thing, as his luck would have it, that Dimitri keeps demanding of him.--Winter marches on in Garreg Mach. Claude and Dimitri slowly begin to address the reality of their cross-continental courtship.Co-written between FullmetalChords and mother_hearted for dmclbdayweek day 4!
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Series: Toki and Meg's Faerghus Husbands AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881556
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	a simple gift as casual as a pebble

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is written in alternating pov style between Claude (FullmetalChords) and Dimitri (me).
> 
> Happy reading <3

“You haven’t told your grandfather about us?”

Across the table, Dimitri looks stunned. It’s nearing the end of the dinner hour, most students having eaten and filed out of the dining hall already, but the two of them are lingering over dessert, enjoying the relative solitude.

Their discussion with Rodrigue is long over. They’d had tea with him the day before, both keeping civil tongues in their heads, their hands clasped under the table. Both of them making it clear that their relationship was not going anywhere. Not for a long, long time.

Claude knows now: there will be no drifting apart after graduation, no slow cessation of letters. Dimitri is being strong enough not to kowtow to his father’s advisors, the old nobility who keep the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus mired in archaic traditions. Prizing the continuation of crest lines over the well-being of the people who hold those crests.

Claude is unspeakably proud of him… and he will do his part in this fight, too. Even if that means...

Claude picks at the skin of the orange he’s holding.

“I haven’t told him _yet,_ ” he clarifies, even though he knows the timetable isn’t why Dimitri is upset. “It isn’t exactly a conscious omission… there are plenty of things I don’t tell him about. He and I aren’t close.”

“Yes, but…” Dimitri’s brow is furrowed, and Claude does not need him to finish his sentence.

“I know.”

Nails bite into the orange peel as he thinks. Much as Claude knows he needs to tell Edgar von Riegan who he’s courting, that it’s well past time for him to do so… well, the idea nags at him. He doesn’t feel like this man, who scorns both his parents and only tolerates Claude’s presence in his house by virtue of his crest, has earned knowing something so personal about Claude, something so important to him.

“I’ll write to him tomorrow. I promise.” It’s only to appease Dimitri, but Claude can tell it’s important to him. That’s enough reason for him to follow through. If he is going to try in this relationship, really going to try… That means letting everyone around them know, doesn’t it? Not only the members of the Golden Deer house who have found out by happenstance.

(Claude has never lied about Dimitri… but practically no one has asked, either.)

Even with Claude’s words, Dimitri looks gloomy.

“I wish this were not so… fraught.” He shakes his head. “In the Kingdom, relationships like ours are… rare, and often discouraged. Rodrigue is far from alone in his attitudes… and even the members of my House, when I revealed our relationship to them, did not seem overjoyed.”

Claude looks up sharply, his eyes flashing. “They didn’t…”

“No, no,” Dimitri waves him off. “They were all supportive of our courtship, but… how do I say this… ah. Felix might have stated it best when he warned me I was… only making things more difficult for myself.”

His voice trembles on the last few words, and Claude reaches across the table to rest a hand atop his.

“Pretending would have been even more difficult,” he says gently. Someone like Dimitri who feels things so deeply… He could have married whatever girl his advisors set in front of him, lived a life beside her with his jaw set tight, and no one would have ever known how loudly he was screaming inside.

“Hah…” Dimitri gives him the ghost of a smile. “Perhaps.” His eyes slide up to meet Claude’s. “At the very least… thanks to you, beloved, I will never have to know.”

Those words should warm Claude. They should make his heart swell. But instead… he looks down.

Making things more difficult…

Talking with Rodrigue the other day had been necessary, but more than that, it had been… enlightening for Claude. Getting even a glimpse of what Dimitri has to deal with on his end, seeing firsthand the Faerghan attitude that demands Dimitri carry on his family line… And Claude had seen, too, how fiercely Dimitri will fight them. Not only for himself, but for Claude.

He’s been fighting them alone, all this time. Has been so sweet to Claude, all this time. All while Claude has been fooling himself that Dimitri was looking for a way out… Ignoring Dimitri when he tried to be romantic. Getting embarrassed by his own feelings, running away at night to sift through them by himself.

He is such a fool.

Dimitri cannot taste the dish of peach sorbet set in front of him, but he enjoys its coolness on his tongue nonetheless. It cools his mouth after the warm bowl of stew he’d eaten, food that warms his body against winter’s chill. Its smells remind him of home. All the good parts of it, not the bits that have burned him, tried to mold him into someone he will never be.

The good comes with the bad… but perhaps the bad parts are not so immutable after all.

It’s because of Claude that he’s found the strength to stand up. Having someone to fight for… and at last, someone in his corner.

Still, Claude is awfully quiet right now.

“Claude?” Dimitri tilts his head. “What’s on your mind?” In early days he thought he knew better than to ask, but they’ve grown well past that now.

Claude looks up from his lap, determination blazing in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

Dimitri snorts. “For what?”

“For…” Claude sighs, looking frustrated. “For always… falling short. Not meeting you where you are. I just need to… gah. I haven’t been trying hard enough. That ends right now.”

Dimitri’s confusion only grows. What on earth is Claude talking about? “Falling short?” he repeats. “What do you…”

“You’re always so good to me,” Claude says, his fingers digging into the skin of the orange he’s holding and ripping off a piece. “So kind, so patient. You always seem to know exactly what to say. It took me too long to… to return the favor at all. And for what?” He snorts, ripping the orange peel to shreds, clearly not interested in eating the fruit. “I’ve been so stupid.”

Dimitri just… sits there. Watching Claude have this - this conversation, this argument, with himself. He recognizes what Claude is doing: he’s in problem-solving mode, only this time, it’s for a problem that doesn’t actually exist. “Darling…”

“It ends now,” Claude repeats, jaw set with determination. “I know this will still be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be difficult for you alone anymore. I’m here. I’m here.” He nods firmly… then looks down again, apparently having just noticed that his hands are covered in orange pulp. “Ah, whoops…”

He reaches for a napkin, wiping off his hands while Dimitri just keeps staring at him. Feeling slightly dizzy from having watched Claude talk himself through mental somersaults. He takes the last bites of his sorbet, barely noticing them.

Then he puts down his spoon and reaches for Claude’s now-clean hand.

“Well,” he says, feeling unusually awkward, “thank you for being here with me tonight. I enjoyed spending this time with you.” Public displays of affection are still… new to him. He hopes he’s making his feelings clear enough.

Claude is thrown by how formal Dimitri sounds. “Uh,” he says. “Thanks? Me, too?” Of course Claude is happy with him. Has he not made that clear enough?

Ah… he’s talked too much again, hasn’t he? Said something Dimitri doesn’t want to hear? He’d said the other day that he always wanted to hear what was on Claude’s mind, and he wants to believe him, but--

Dimitri grumbles, his cheeks turning pink. “I am trying to tell you that I feel wonderful when I am with you. You don’t need to do anything differently.”

Oh. Claude can feel a similar heat rushing to his cheeks. Dizzy with how Dimitri’s words make him feel. Quietly, he says, “You don’t have to say that.”

“Clearly, I do.” Dimitri’s voice is wry.

“I--” Claude huffs, impatient with himself. “I-I know I have work to do. You don’t need to flatter me--”

“Just take the compliment, Claude.” Dimitri looks bemused, unimpressed. His expression alone chastises Claude into mumbling his thanks, then letting Dimitri pull him to his feet so they can walk out of the dining hall together.

It doesn’t normally snow in Garreg Mach, but it is snowing tonight, just a few light flakes as they walk around the fishing pond, heading out on another one of their aimless evening strolls. Normally, they talk about everything and anything, both their minds wandering along with their feet, but tonight, they share a companionable silence.

Claude is still - stuck, for better or for worse, on the topic of his outburst. Words have never been particularly difficult for Claude… at least, not until he met Dimitri. He knows how to talk circles around any problem he faces, but has always found it difficult to own up to exactly how he feels. The one thing, as his luck would have it, that Dimitri keeps demanding of him.

How will this continue when Claude cannot fill in the gaps his words leave with touches, physical contact? How will he find the right way to let Dimitri continue to know that he loves him, even from afar? If Dimitri is happy with him now, when Claude has given him little more than scraps… How much happier can Claude make him, if he can just get past his own roadblocks?

Claude is quiet when he next speaks, the pair of them rounding the corner to walk past the stables.

“I love you, Dimitri,” he says, still hanging onto Dimitri’s hand. “I just… know I need to be better at using my words. That is, I _want_ to get better. I just… I don’t know how.” He takes a deep breath of the frigid winter air. “The school year will be ending soon,” he reminds him, and holds all the more tightly to Dimitri’s hand. “We’ll have to be apart for a little while. I just… I want to make sure my words are enough for you.”

Enough to continue providing him strength for when he has to fight his own nation’s antiquated standards for its rulers.

Oh… Dimitri’s face grows pensive in return. Now able to see more clearly what Claude’s insecurities are… and Dimitri is not so cruel as to turn a deaf ear to them. The distance is not something he is looking forward to, either.

He pulls Claude away, down the path toward the gazebo, empty now that it’s gotten late. There are a few snowflakes in Claude’s hair, melting as they stand together. His hands find their way to Claude’s waist, keeping him close.

“My expectations are that you will show your love in the ways that suit you best. I would not mind if you softened your words... but I love the way your words leave me dizzy, how your anecdotes tug my lips into a smile. I won't be disappointed, so long as you keep writing to me."

And then:

"If you truly wish to be better at something, all you can do is practice."

As always, Dimitri’s words are simple, but they cut right to the heart of what ails him. Claude smiles, almost hesitant. Not the blinding grin he has when he's more cheeky, no, this is softer. He feels like Dimitri is hearing him, but also like he isn't as far behind as he fears. He puts his arms around Dimitri's neck, swaying with him a little.

"Thank you." He wants to kiss him, just a little, in the privacy of the gazebo. "I hope you'll keep letting me practice, then."

"Yes.” His voice pitches a little lower when he answers, embarrassingly obvious with the way his eyes dart to Claude’s mouth. “As much as you like."

His hands pull Claude closer, too. It feels like here, they have some small degree of privacy.

Claude catches that little peek at his mouth. Grins, lopsided, before telling Dimitri, "I think I have to kiss you now.” He gives him a chance to balk or refuse -

\- before he leans in, mouth softly pressing against Dimitri's. He’s mindful that they're outdoors, and it's not so dark yet that no one might see them… but ah, he doesn’t really care. He just wants Dimitri a little bit closer, to warm him.

Dimitri is not the prince others know him as right now. He is all teen boy in love when he groans quietly, hugging Claude tightly to his front. They’re outdoors and his ears are trained for any nearby footsteps, but Claude is being so sweet…

Promising to be good to Dimitri, even though he already is. Is it any wonder Dimitri is swept away?

A few weeks ago, Claude had coaxed him into kissing him in the knight’s hall, late one evening after training. They’d ended up making out on one of the sofas, still remaining decent enough… not that that had mattered, when Alois had nearly come across them both.

Kissing in the knight’s hall and now the gazebo… Dimitri really is learning to let loose.

The way Dimitri is hanging onto him… Claude is getting much better at reading him. He knows that if they stay in this gazebo much longer, they really will be in trouble.

And so, reluctantly, he parts his lips from Dimitri’s, though still nuzzles him. “Would you like to come to my room tonight?” he asks. “So I can… practice?”

They haven’t spent much time in Claude’s room yet… hardly any, actually. They’ve made a habit of spending time in Dimitri’s room only, with Claude saving his own room as a retreat…. But now, what is there to retreat from? And if he’s going to let Dimitri into his space metaphorically, he might as well start by letting him into his physical space.

A place where Claude won’t ever let himself think about running away.

Dimitri soars as Claude nuzzles him, hearts in his eyes.

“Of course I want to. I was going to ask whose room we would sleep in tonight anyway, hah.”

Another change to their routine since they’d voiced their love for one another. Much like Claude, Dimitri wants to soak up all the time alone with him that he can.

“Yes. Please. Whatever you would like.” He leans into Claude’s embrace. “Allow me to get you out of the cold.”

So cheesy. Claude grins, allowing himself to get swept away by the romance of it all.

Hand in hand, they make their way to Claude’s room, out of the biting wind and into the warmth. Once they’re inside Claude’s room, he shuts the door… and he’s so used to this being their cue to resume kissing that he has to keep himself from pouncing on Dimitri the moment they’re alone.

But no. He said he was going to practice speaking romantically and he meant it. Still holding Dimitri’s hand, he guides him to sit on the bed with him.

“Okay,” he says, turning to face Dimitri. “Tell me how you do it. Or, give me a topic.” At Dimitri’s little furrow of confusion, he simply smirks. “Coach me, Your Romanticness.”

Dimitri snorts at that particular endearment. “I don’t know what you mean,” he says. “It’s all about speaking from the heart, after all.” Claude pulls a face at him like he’s just cited some children’s lesson, and he snorts again. “I mean it!” Still, he sobers, pondering how to phrase this.

“You know I have trouble with my… my body,” he starts, haltingly, and Claude nods sympathetically. His body, and his self-esteem, and. Whenever Claude calls him “beautiful,” he cannot help but want to argue with him. “I… I don’t want that to be all you speak of. What makes me happy is…”

He reaches to place a hand on Claude’s knee. “You, paying attention to me. Sharing your life with me. It can be as simple as you talking about your day, including me that way. And…” He smiles. “I like you touching me. Even something small, like this.” His fingers shift on Claude’s knee, stroking over the wool fabric of his trousers.

Touching is easy. Claude knows he communicates his feelings best with touch rather than words. Words are... good for dancing around feelings, in Claude's experience. It's a habit he has a very hard time breaking… and before too long, it will be a tool he can no longer rely on.

“Talk about my day, huh,” he muses, then grins knowingly at Dimitri. “You were there for most of it,” he teases, “so I’m not sure what you could possibly learn.”

But Claude tries anyway, resting his hand on Dimitri’s wrist so he can stroke over the skin. He starts by saying he liked having breakfast with Dimitri. It's a new habit they have: lunch with their housemates, breakfast and dinner with each other. Dimitri is already the first thing Claude sees when he wakes up, but having breakfast with him makes Claude feel like they're starting the day together, too...

He cuts himself off, looking uncertainly at Dimitri. "Like that? Is that ok?"

Dimitri nods. "Yes, it's very good. I am not one for embellishments after all." He’s teasing; Dimitri knows he’s simple, often left (fondly) exasperated from Claude's additions to his wild tales when he's shared them in the past. "Anything you particularly liked or especially noticed... I like those details. And if something annoyed you or caused you grief, I want to hear them too."

Ah, that's probably too serious for what Claude asked him... Practicing romance together before they're apart. His face flushes when he thinks of their future letters and what part he most looks forward to.

"How do you feel about endearments?"

"What?" Claude feels heat rushing to his face. "I… uh..."

The simple fact is, even after courting Dimitri for months, he's still not fully used to endearments. They don't feel as natural to him as they seem to with Dimitri. His parents have always called him by name, never having a nickname for him (at least not one he remembers).

"For you, or for me?" He knows he's blushing, ugh, he hates it. "Don't call me cupcake," he says suddenly, sharply, "but... coming from you, I wouldn’t mind. I… I’ve liked it before." He clears his throat. "What about you?"

"Cupcake?" Dimitri repeats, amused. "I don't believe that fits either of us." He thinks idly of other words like it. "Honey...? No." His nose scrunches up. "Food should stay as food."

As for him in particular. Well, "I enjoy being called Dima. You are the only one who shortens my name..." It makes it special, makes Dimitri feel whole. Like he is more than a role written down in a script with a few casting notes.

"Do you like when I call you beloved? I would... like to hear it in return as well."

He grins in agreement at Dimitri's first statement. Yes- food should stay as food. He doesn't like the idea of being called after something sweet and consumable.

As for the rest... Claude's cheeks stay pink when Dimitri calls him beloved. "Dearest, darling, beloved..." He parrots words Dimitri has called him before, and smiles. "I like all of them." He shuffles a little closer to Dimitri on his knees, too, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear.

"My beloved Dima," he tries out, and it makes him smile just saying it. He smiles, too, seeing how Dimitri immediately turns pink. "Can I... call you 'my heart', too?" My heart, my life… common endearments in Almyran, even if he’s not quite ready to share that part of himself with Dimitri.

"Oh," Dimitri rasps, like he's winded from running up a large hill. "I would be honored." Already dumb with affection, ears growing pink the longer Claude smiles at him.

"And I'm glad. I like all of them too. I... know my books are not to your tastes but I have always enjoyed the names in them." Darling, dearest... words whispered between lovers in moments of intimacy - from sharing tea to love making.

"My dearest Claude," and his voice rasps at the end, face flushing hotter from it.

Oh... He'd underestimated the power an endearment can have on him. Especially when coupled with his name...

"Mm..." He puts his arms around Dimitri's neck again, wanting to kiss him again. "All yours," he agrees before fitting their mouths back together, feeling the heat already burning in them both.

"I didn't realize you liked being Dima so much," he muses between kisses. "I'll only call you that from now on." He smiles into the kiss. "If it pleases your princeliness."

Goddess. Dimitri is molten hot in his core, holding Claude's back like he isn't sure he'll be able to anchor himself to the bed any other way.

"It pleases me." So much. Dimitri feels his ability to use words rapidly leaving him, however. Blunt and obvious when he says, "Keep kissing me." Mmm. "Please." All while pretending to taste Claude's mouth in between.

And Claude obliges, of course. Carefully tips Dimitri back until his head hits Claude's pillow, Claude lying atop him. Always kissing him, barely pausing for breath.

"You distracted me." He kisses Dimitri again, deeper. "I hoped to have a bit of a longer practice."

Huffing up at him, Dimitri fixes him with a look. "It takes two to kiss and fondle one another."

It's not fair to pin the blame on him, even if Dimitri is easy and eager. A hint of shame colors his blush.

"I know that." Claude softens. "I was only teasing, beloved. I'm sorry for making you upset." He brushes his thumb along Dimitri's cheek, tracing that blush. Only wanting to make Dimitri happy.

"I like how eager we are for each other." It's quieter, shyer. Still trying to speak with some sense of romance. "It's... a relief, not to have to second guess myself anymore." He swallows. "Not to lie to myself, more like." He can admit it now, even as it brings him shame. He pulls Dimitri even closer in apology.

Dimitri's arms wrap around him tighter in response. Hot face pressing into Claude's neck. Actions speaking as loud as his words, how badly he wants Claude to be here with him, how badly he always wants him to be near.

"No more lies." His tone is self-aware, even if slightly choked. Neither of them are going to lie anymore, no more hiding who they are... or who they want to become. It's terrifying -- but there's no one else Dimitri wants to be scared with.

He finds his own admission too. "I want to learn to take my time with you... Cherish you properly. You already told me you like that I am weak to your charms..." He whines the faintest bit. "But I want to be better too. At being, ah, a lover who pleases you."

And just like Dimitri before him, Claude is bemused by this request. Not sure what Dimitri means.

"You _are_ a lover who pleases me, Dima." He pets the back of his head, where it's tucked into his neck. Tightens his grip around his lower back. "Have I... somehow given you the impression that you aren't?"

He’s used to picking through the subtext of Dimitri’s words on his own… but wants to be better at allowing Dimitri to speak, before Claude can jump to the wrong conclusion.

“No.” Claude has never shamed him. As usual, Dimitri is handling that job all on his own. Claude’s reassurances are not dismissed, but Dimitri has trouble making them stick against his anxious insecurities. “It is… Urm.” Embarrassing. “I know I am quick to lose myself…” It’s gotten him into trouble in the past, when he moved too quickly for Claude’s comfort. “And I know I am quick to… finish.”

Ah.

“I promise I will improve my stamina for you.”

Oh… That wasn't what Claude had expected to hear. He thinks he understands Dimitri's impatience with him earlier, having to hear an apology for something that Claude… doesn't view as a problem.

But he steps outside himself for a moment. Wanting to understand why Dimitri is so bothered by how quick he is to come in Claude's arms. And...the rest of it, too. How Dimitri does not want his eagerness to hurt Claude again.

"Okay," he says carefully. Thumb rubbing the back of Dimitri's neck. "I think those are… two different things. Losing yourself… hah. I get lost with you, you know. As long as we're lost together, it's not something to be afraid of. You've gotten much better about checking with me to see where I'm at."

He pauses before addressing the second part. "I don't see your 'lack of stamina' as a problem, myself," he says more cheerfully. "I could tell you why… But maybe talk a little bit about why it bothers you so much?" He keeps touching Dimitri, soothing him, nose to nose so they can see each other's expression but touching everywhere over their clothes. Knowing this is difficult and embarrassing for him.

Ugh.

Dimitri looks miserably up at the ceiling just around Claude while he tries to wrangle his heart towards his tongue. Intimacy, sexual or not, is not always easy. He knows it’s true for the both of them but for Dimitri… He’s too emotional. With a penchant for taking things seriously, he finds it easy to be disappointed with himself.

He knows Claude isn’t afraid of Dimitri, of his eagerness… not when Dimitri has corrected his behavior, speaking first before trying something sudden or new. No, what he’s wrapped himself up in knots around is… his skill.

“I… want to be a strong and ardent lover for you, like a man should be. I don’t want to leave you wanting… and with lacking memories of me while we’re apart.”

Where they will no longer be able to practice and explore with one another, not for a while. Dimitri has no doubts their reunion will be a joyous one but… there’s no knowing exactly when it will be.

_Like a man should be…_

Maybe it’s because Claude’s mind is still halfway in their discussion with Rodrigue. The way he’d told Dimitri to think about the responsibilities he will have as a man (as though Dimitri hasn’t done that every day of his life)... and he knows, too, that Dimitri has struggled with not living up to the stereotypical image of the Faerghan warrior. How he prefers to submit to Claude... and the shame he used to feel for that preference.

Stuck on that phrase, Claude does the very thing he’d been trying not to, and takes too far of a leap.

"None of my experiences with you have been lacking." He pulls back so Dimitri can see his expression. "I won't have any regretful or… inadequate memories of you. I know you have certain...tastes, certain desires, that you like being under me, and there is nothing lacking or _unmanly_ about them. You already are strong every time you surrender to me. You're ardent every time you touch me."

He gives Dimitri a look. "My tastes are evolving along with yours. I'm not like you, Dima. I never gave much thought to romance or sex before we met. If what you're saying is that you want to try being more dominant, then just say that. Please don't make this into another way to hurt yourself for liking what you like."

Dimitri’s brow furrows in equal confusion. He appreciates what Claude is saying, but...

“This isn’t about my tastes.” He meets Claude’s eyes now that he’s pulled back. “I know we are young and it’s… only natural we are inexperienced.” And there’s some humor injected into the situation when Dimitri fusses. “But I am impatient and want to be more skillful now.”

“My body won’t cooperate,” he mutters, clutching hold of Claude tight again.

“...I know I am being a child.” His body still feels like a cage in too many ways, but he doesn’t know how to articulate those feelings. He won’t for a while yet.

"...Ah." He grimaces in embarrassment at his misunderstanding. "I'm sorry. I thought you were saying- ugh. It doesn't matter."

He strokes Dimitri's hair a few times while he recenters his thoughts. "I know what you mean," he says quietly. "Every time we make love, I want to hold onto you longer. But the way you come for me…" Always so unrestrained, sometimes too quick, always spilling thickly in Claude's hands or against his hip. A few blessed times, in his mouth.

"I love it." His voice is hoarse without meaning to be. "It's stupid, but I… I feel like it proves how much you want me. How badly you want to be with me… and it's just as much as I want to be with you."

He hums, tilting his head while he considers. "Maybe… it's like my problem." And he smirks at Dimitri. "Maybe we just need more practice being together."

He’s so sly...

Dimitri can’t help laughing, his whole body glowing warmly. He’s warm too… from Claude sharing how wanted he feels, how much he wants Dimitri and his fast falls to climax. His hips and belly press up against Claude before he can help himself, not to hump him but to show him how badly he wants to be close to Claude.

“Maybe… What do you suggest?”

His blue eyes shine much brighter now that their misunderstanding has moved on from gray clouds to clear skies.

"Hmmm." Claude leans in to kiss Dimitri soft and slow while he thinks. Feeling the way his love presses against him.

"I think that might depend on what you want to improve." He runs his fingers gently up Dimitri's arm. "Our stamina, our, um, efficiency…" Fun though it is to simply grind against Dimitri while they kiss, they've gone well past dry humping to acts that are far more purposeful. "Or 'training' in individual acts, the way you train with each weapon in the knights hall…"

He laughs. "I dunno how sexy any of that is. But if you tell me what you want to do, I can, ah…" He swallows, then blushes. "I might be able to… make it into more of a game for us. Beloved." Perhaps bring out Dimitri's more competitive side, or a more playful side.

What a one-two punch. Proposing silly games and calling Dimitri his beloved. How did he get so lucky to attract someone so clever and crafty? So colorful in all the ways Dimitri is dull. Rather than berate himself, Dimitri sits up a bit to bring Claude into a deep kiss. Showing him his enthusiasm before he tells.

“You have brilliant ideas. Hah. I’m… not sure where to begin.” He smiles sheepishly. “Maybe my stamina? Perhaps a game where you make me... wait? To be touched, I mean.”

There’s no helping how quickly he gets hard but coming so fast… He’d like to last longer.

“I want to outlast you at least once.”

There’s his competitive nature.

Claude's eyes sparkle at his words. It's not a secret that Dimitri is almost always the first to come. Not that Claude minds, but it's thrilling to think of him being the first between them to lose it.

"I believe in you." He throws Dimitri the smallest of cheeky winks. "Now, let me think…"

It only takes him a moment to think of something, and he makes a triumphant sound.

"I want to kiss you," he says, but shuffles away on his knees so that he and Dimitri are no longer pressed together. He actually puts his hands behind his back, too, smiling at Dimitri as he does so. "Let's see how long we can do it without touching each other." A good test for him, too. The moment they press up against each other, Claude tends to get lost in sensation, letting his hunger take over… letting his feelings show in his actions rather than his words. Keeping his hands to himself will be a challenge.

“A test of discipline, is it?”

What a darling nerd.

“I accept.”

He tucks his hands behind his back too, hands grasping each other to remind himself not to break the link. Still, it does nothing to stop his eager lean forward, wanting to be close to Claude and his all too kissable lips.

“May I continue?”

He kisses the answering smirk off Claude’s lips, widening his stance on his knees to keep his balance. It’s ridiculous but he really does think of his training to help with his form, to give him a chance to avoid getting so worked up. Dimitri may not be crafty or sly… but he is relentless in his own right, and it’s his stubbornness that makes him so competitive. What makes it fun for Claude to push Dimitri’s buttons and rile him in the training grounds, until Dimitri scoops Claude off his feet and (playfully) dumps him into the soft green of the courtyard.

They’re still young, with so much to explore, but maybe it’s all right to think he’s gotten the hang of kissing. At least, the hang of kissing Claude. The pressure he likes. The way his breathing hitches when Dimitri traces his lips with his tongue.

Skies above. Dimitri’s gotten so good at kissing him in their months together. Claude groans, feeling helpless, already melting and wanting to take Dimitri into his arms.

No! No. He’s not going to cave that soon, just moments after posing this challenge to Dimitri. He opens his mouth to his boyfriend’s probing tongue, moaning again at how good it feels to have part of Dimitri - to have part of him, inside Claude.

Gods. Okay. He shifts his weight onto his knees, already feeling his pants becoming tighter. Digs his nails into his palms just for a moment, just to get his head back on his shoulders, before finding the tip of Dimitri’s tongue and caressing it with his own. Lips closing around it so he can gently suckle his tongue.

“Hnnn…” He opens bleary eyes to see Dimitri melting before him. “Good. Yes. More?” And he presses back in, enthusiastic and awkward with a graceless clacking of teeth. Amazing, how he feels so off-balance just by keeping his hands to himself. It’s somewhat exciting to feel a little unsteady in Dimitri’s presence.

Claude moves too quickly for Dimitri to answer properly, his consent more like a noise lost between their mouths. He grimaces at the rough collision of their teeth before he’s moaning back into Claude’s mouth, awkwardness forgotten when he trembles from their tongues stroking over each other’s.

His cock is already fully hard, his shape printing through his trousers and he can’t help it, not after Claude sucks on his tongue. Even just the tip feels so naughty… and he can’t let Claude get the best of him already. He grunts a little, aroused but also stubborn, leaning into Claude to press his chest against his.

When Claude gasps Dimitri returns the favor, sucking on his tongue like he’s his favorite flavor of hard candy. “Mmm…!”

His blunt nails are already digging crescents into his skin and one hand shifts, holding tight to his wrist instead. Trying to keep his hands to himself so he can finally hear Claude break first. (Not that Dimitri won’t follow as swiftly and sweetly as possible, pft.)

It never fails to undo him, the way Dimitri appears to savor Claude like his favorite treat. How, even without feeling his beloved's hands on him, Claude feels Dimitri's chest pushing into his, expanding and contracting with every breath he takes. Keeping their bodies connected even without holding each other.

Claude feels breathless. Still in awe at how Dimitri loves him, swept away by his kisses that are hot and sweet in equal measure. And with every kiss, heat sweeps through Claude's body, heightening his arousal until he can hardly bear it.

"A-ah," he gasps, all while Dimitri suckles his lower lip. "Gods… Should we be allowed to touch ourselves, do you think?" He feels his cheeks burn. "If only to, ah, make ourselves more comfortable." He's itching to get out of his clothes, feel cool air on his skin and let his cock free, but he doesn't know if that runs counter to him helping Dimitri with his "problem".

“Nn?”

Pulling himself back from the rapidly building heat their kisses are causing leaves Dimitri slow to respond in an articulate manner. When Claude’s question finally kicks in he’s quick to agree. “Ah, there’s no complaints from me. I’m already in a state and my pants…” He trails off with an embarrassed smile, eyes flicking down to the obvious bulge he’s presenting.

“Let’s call a timeout? No tricks?”

And he’s teasing, eyeing Claude knowingly. No stranger to his mischief after knowing him for nearly a year. When Claude agrees, rogue’s honor -- fff -- Dimitri stands up from the side of the bed and begins undressing. He starts with his bottoms first and hesitates with his tops, fingers curling under his undershirt before deciding to commit, naked back greeting Claude and giving him a perfect view of his muscles moving under the scarred skin.

When he comes back to bed, settling on his knees, he rests his hands instead on the tops of his thighs. All too aware of the rigid red shaft between his legs.

Claude lets out a breath he doesn't realize he's holding when he sees Dimitri naked before him. Blond hair tousled when he'd removed his shirt, that pretty blush spreading down his chest. Cock tall and proud, at attention where Dimitri kneels.

Claude's mouth waters for him. His fingers itch to touch him.

But he contents himself with following suit. Fingers fumbling down the front of his uniform jacket, stripping himself without ceremony as he drops his clothes off the side of the bed. Bare before Dimitri, hands folded in his lap, it's all he can do to smile at him, blushing.

He remembers that Dimitri wanted him to practice his talking and: "I'm glad you took your shirt off,” he says, and flushes. “Hah… not just because I like seeing all of you. But I noticed that you only take your shirt off with me when you’re feeling good, and… it makes me happy to… to know you're feeling good tonight."

He swallows, trying not to stare.

Dimitri’s face freezes, not in shock or anguish but in stunned amazement. Claude is too beautiful, too loving. In an instant Dimitri forgets his own cock, his own need, and desperately aches to show Claude how good Dimitri can make him feel. Dimitri feels himself wanting to pull a risky maneuver and catches himself, fingers digging into his own skin.

“I always feel good when I’m with you. So good. Claude… Ah.” He cuts himself off, shaking his head and the heat only grows on his face. “The rule about not touching each other… It means we cannot put our hands on each other, correct?”

They were still kissing, still touching in that respect and when Claude gives a flushed nod to confirm, Dimitri makes sure to ask his most important question.

“Do you want to be surprised?”

By Dimitri, right here in bed he means.

Claude blinks. "Surprised?"

He remembers those few times early on when Dimitri had been too eager, rushing right through Claude's careful defenses. He likes to think they've both improved: Dimitri at listening to what Claude needs, and Claude at allowing their passions to spontaneously sweep them away.

"I… hah. If you tell me there's a surprise, is it really a surprise?" He shakes his head. He's babbling, only a little nervous. "That is… yes. I would." He knows Dimitri will stop if he gets too frightened, but he doesn't anticipate needing to ask.

He shuffles a little closer on his knees. "How will you surprise me, beloved?" he asks, throaty. Interested to know how his love will delight him.

“I’m going to show you.”

He can sense Claude’s nervousness. His tell is how he babbles, fidgeting with his words like others fidget with their fingers. So he gives him a small grin, made more by the heat in his face when he leans forward, keeping his hands on the bed - and pushes Claude over with a gentle but firm roll of his shoulder. It’s - easy. As easy as breathing with how Dimitri’s strength has grown during the school year.

Claude looks startled but not fearful and Dimitri settles over him, forearms crossing over his hips and lower abdomen.

“You said we couldn’t use our hands.”

He breathes hot over Claude’s cock and feels his hips try to move but they stay in place, held down easily by Dimitri’s force.

“And I said I would outlast you this time.”

“Oh, _fuck_.” The curse slips from his tongue so easily, eyes wide as he takes in the sight of Dimitri’s head down in his lap. His hot breath curling over the head of his cock. The weight of his arms keeping Claude in place, all without his hands restraining him.

“ _Fuck_ me,” he breathes, an ardent curse, “you’re clever. Clever Dima--”

His hands shoot out on autopilot, ready to pet Dimitri’s hair… but no. He stops himself just in time, fingers tracing the air over Dimitri’s body before his hands move again. Claude settles his hands in the small of his back, wedging them under his body, hoping that his weight will keep them in place. Prevent him from losing their little game.

“Oh, Dima,” he says, then moans. “I adore you. Yes - yes, it’s okay to use your mouth, but, hh, keep your hands where they are.” He manages a grin.

“I’ll be watching closely.”

“Don’t you always?”

His tongue flicks out to interrupt Claude’s cheeky reply with a well placed lick along his shaft. Dimitri would never want Claude to shut up for good but he can’t deny the appeal in being able to rob him of his wit, give Dimitri a chance to breathe and enjoy a momentarily speechless Claude.

His little cries are too cute, his moans too sweet, and Dimitri can’t taste him so what he sees and hears matters all the more. He forgoes anymore talking on his end to lick Claude all over, experimentally take each side of his sac in his mouth. Careful when he hears Claude whine above him. This is only his third time using his mouth, not counting their evening in early autumn when he’d been fresh from his bath. Their first time after that had been messy; Dimitri had come in his pants from the excitement of the act, from Claude’s dirty and sweet words ( _“suck me nice and slow,”_ ) and being unprepared to swallow Claude down too.

Now, now he’s more confident in how to use his lips and tongue, and groans in satisfaction when he wraps his lips around the head of Claude’s cock. Begins to suck him proper, single minded in his pursuit to make Claude cry out for him.

No fear of choking while he holds Claude down, he starts to bob his head once he feels his jaw warm up and relax.

He can feel himself leaking into the sheets where his cock is trapped under his belly and moans louder around Claude’s cock, feeling selfish with how much he enjoys making love to him like this.

“Mmmm…!”

Claude feels like he could float away like this. Nothing to anchor him but Dimitri’s mouth around his cock, sucking him so sweet. “Ahh,” he moans, his thighs flexing as he tries to move along with Dimitri as his head bobs-- but the weight of Dimitri’s arms keeps him so still, so secure, that he can only show his appreciation by the sounds he makes, needy and enamored.

“You’re so, ah.” Dimitri’s tongue swirls around his head, and he loses all his words for a moment. “So-- so good to me, Dima. My darling, oh. Love your mouth, how well you suck me - you drive me wild…”

He’s babbling, his words feel meaningless when compared to the sensations and pleasure flooding his body. But without his hands, without his touch… Words are all he has left to show Dimitri he is appreciated. Show him he is loved. And Claude cannot hold back from giving his darling this much.

“Love you,” Claude whines, and bites down hard on his bottom lip as he whimpers. How is he so close already? His nails dig into his skin again, trying to distract himself so he doesn’t come quite so quick. He’s greedy to draw this out, keep feeling the pleasure Dimitri is being so generous with, but - “Don’t know… if I can last…”

Dimitri hears Claude, how he struggles, trying to keep himself from falling off the brink into his pleasure. His mouth slows down, doing his best to make each slide of his tongue and pull of his lips more luxurious than the last. A few ugly noises slip out, his mouth getting so wet from his own spit.

Eventually, when he feels Claude’s thigh muscles pulling taut under him, Dimitri backs off. Pulls off his cock completely and rests his cheek on his hot thigh. He looks up at him from under mussed bangs.

“If you concede defeat, I’ll let you come.”

He has the audacity to smile while he says it but it’s more silly than smug or cocky. His heart is too tender from being told he’s loved… and it’s becoming a struggle not to hump the bed and find his release, too.

Claude’s compliments make him squirm, but it doesn’t matter whether he thinks he deserves them or not, not when it’s so obvious he likes them. Dimitri needs to know he’s doing a good job, that Claude doesn’t regret letting Dimitri on top of him after avoiding switching positions for so long.

Learning not only to be skillful but playful for Claude…

“Well?”

He’s doing his best.

Claude has to catch his breath before he can understand what Dimitri is saying. “Defeat…?”

He sees how sweetly Dimitri smiles up at him, cheek resting against his thigh. He makes a picture, his mouth so red from their kisses and from sucking Claude’s cock, skin so pink and flushed, his neat hair mussed.

The dots finally connect, and that’s when Claude grins down at him, a giggle escaping before he can keep it in.

“You cheeky,” he says, nothing but affectionate as he looks down at Dimitri - and wordlessly concedes defeat as he wiggles his hands out from behind his back, stroking a thumb across Dimitri’s cheek. “Yes, darling. You won that round.” Claude smiles, watching the way Dimitri leans into his touch. “Well done,” he whispers, still caressing him.

“Now… as the victor, come and claim your prize.”

Dimitri’s curse is nothing more than a fledgeding whimper. Calling himself Dimitri’s _prize_ … He climbs on top of Claude without thought, quick to find his mouth and steal his breath all over again. Compared to before this kisses are sloppy and wet, uncoordinated after working himself up. But he doesn’t remain on top of Claude like he’s prone to, doesn’t drop his hips so they can grind against one another.

Horny or not, he has a goal he wants to achieve.

He shuffles back down to where he was before, leaving Claude to protest until he realizes what Dimitri is doing. Hiking Claude’s legs up, he sets them over his shoulders, keeping Dimitri’s head framed by his glorious thighs.

His hands find the tops of Claude’s hips to push him down again. Trapping himself in Claude’s legs as he holds down Claude… Dimitri’s lower abdomen tingles hot in warning and he’s careful not to put pressure on his cock.

By the Goddess, he’s going to make Claude finish in his mouth first! Embarrassingly mental declaration over, he whispers, “Hold onto me however you like,” and sucks him back in, continuing where he last left off.

Claude’s heels dig into Dimitri’s back as he wails. Cock weeping thickly onto his beloved’s tongue, one hand cupping the back of Dimitri’s head as he keeps him close. Closer. All he wants is to feel even closer.

“I-” There’s pressure in his lower abdomen, a warning sign that he’s about to spill… “I- I’m gonna… hhh. Dima…” He blinks away tears, trying to hold off, not wanting to make a mess of Dimitri’s lovely face. “Gonna come…”

But those beautiful, stubborn blue eyes just look up at him through those silvery lashes, mouth resolutely staying where it is, and Claude gives one last, desperate groan before letting go, his seed spilling in Dimitri’s mouth while tears pour down Claude’s cheeks. Overwhelmed by the way Dimitri is accepting him, taking care of him. Nurturing that part of Claude that is still unsure he can be loved.

Claude is full to the brim of love for him.

“Dima,” he repeats, face covered in tears, and sniffles. “Ah- let me get you a handkerchief.” It can’t be pleasant to have a mouth full of his seed, whether his love can taste it or not, and he fumbles in his bedside drawer for one.

Unlike in the past, Dimitri keeps his mouth closed and doesn’t make an obscene mess. Claude floods his mouth, seed thick on his tongue, and it’s still more than he expects - but he remembers to breathe through his nose. Sighs when he carefully pulls back, freeing Claude’s cock and swallowing everything down without fear of choking.

“I’m all right.”

His voice is rough, sounding indecent even to his own ears. He runs a hand over Claude’s hip. “C-Can I stay here, dearest?” His flush brightens. “It feels wonderful being held by you.” Lost in the strength of his legs, even the ache of his heels digging into his back. Hhhn.

And then he whines. Just a little.

“I love you. I’m so close.”

Claude whimpers at the sight of Dimitri’s throat bobbing, _swallowing him_ … but he makes a noise of assent, of course he does. No more willing for Dimitri to pull away just yet than Dimitri is to get up. He arranges them so Dimitri’s head is pillowed on his lower stomach, Claude’s knees wrapped around his shoulders and ankles crossing in the middle of his back.

“I’ve got you.” His voice is hushed as he runs his fingers through Dimitri’s hair, smoothing over the back of his neck and the tops of his shoulders. “You did so well for me, my heart. Treated me so well…” Like he always does. How did Claude get so lucky as to have this? A clever, loving man who will soothe his insecurities, subvert his little games… and hold him close, too. Keep him pinned down when Claude feels like he is floating away.

“Go on.” He smiles warmly down at his darling. “I want to see your face when you come for me.”

“Nnn…” Dimitri’s face smooshes into Claude’s belly, unable to stop his hips from rutting against the bed, mindless now that he’s working himself. Safe because Claude surrounds him, petting Dimitri’s hair and neck, saying words that light up the dark corners of his mind.

How can Claude think he’s bad at this? He is not always forthcoming about himself, but Dimitri understands. They both are working on being honest, but Claude has never fooled him, not really… He is so gentle and caring with Dimitri.

Claude is the one who is guiding Dimitri to being more affectionate in public, believing Dimitri to be worthy of him and his beautiful mind... and letting everyone see it, too. Everyone else can only see the prince, but Claude… Claude sees this Dimitri, who is prone to drooling, face and hair a mess, whining low in his throat when he’s about to come.

...and he said he wanted to see his face. Dimitri looks up obediently with his mouth open, gasping out Claude’s name. His eyes close when he shakes, unable to keep eye contact when he comes.

He makes a royal mess of Claude’s bed and collapses back onto his stomach.

“Oh… Ah…”

Words lost to him, he nuzzles his skin with his wet face. Mm. The weight against his back still feels so good. He wants to stay like this a little longer.

He makes hushed sounds after Dimitri comes, feeling the way he slumps against Claude’s stomach. Still petting the parts of Dimitri he can reach, feeling the way Dimitri’s fingers stay curled around the backs of his thighs, keeping Claude’s legs where they are.

Claude doesn’t mind. He lets Dimitri rest, still stroking his hair, still thanking him. For letting Claude see him come, for holding on as long as he did. Thanks Dimitri just for being with him tonight, spending this time with him. And then he pauses in his speech.

“I’m trying to be better,” he says, voice still hushed. “I want…” He swallows. “I want to give you everything.”

His heart hammers in his chest as he says it. Claude isn’t one to hyperbolize, and as such, what could come across as sweet nothings feels more like a life-changing admission out of Claude’s mouth. Knowing there is still so much he can give Dimitri… But he doesn’t walk the statement back. Just keeps holding Dimitri, taking one of his hands so he can bring it up to his mouth.

Dimitri’s tears prickle up when Claude finishes speaking. His lip wobbles. When he tries to speak, all that comes out at first is a croak. Shaking his head, knowing this isn’t working, he slides Claude’s legs off his shoulders so he can settle on top of Claude face to face.

His tears are familiar, seemingly endless, but the only one he can cry in front of is Claude. “You have, you do. You.” His face twists, almost like he’s grimacing, searching desperately for the words he wants to speak and when he finds them, he’s fearless, could never keep them to himself.

“I thought I would go through life unloved and alone because of the way I am. You have already given me everything I wanted but never dared ask for. A-Ah, nn.” He can’t stop his sob, hugging Claude tight when he drops his head to his chest. He’s always so so weak after he comes. “Claude… Please start looking at all the things you are doing right. You _are_ doing right by me.”

“Dima,” Claude says, helpless in the face of his tears. Of his truth. For a moment it’s all he can do to cuddle Dimitri close to him, kissing the top of his head, letting his darling cry himself out.

“Sweetheart,” he says, hushed, once Dimitri’s breath has stopped hitching. “I… y-you’re right. I never… never thought anyone would love me, either. Never prepared to have someone like you in my life, what I would say to them to show how much I love them…” He pauses, looking down at the top of Dimitri’s head for a moment. “I don’t have a good model for… love,” he stammers. His parents were never soft to him or each other; he’d been met with contempt and mistrust everywhere he went. “I’m sorry if that means I’m always second-guessing myself.”

He keeps running his fingers through Dimitri’s hair, gaze caught on the ceiling as he gets lost in his thoughts. In the feelings that always run rampant whenever he and Dimitri are alone together.

“You do right by me, too,” he says, and his eyes flood with tears as he says it. “Ah… oh, Dima. You have no idea how much.” He tries to blink them away, embarrassed by the depth of his feelings, but it’s hard to do so when he has the love of his life curled up on his chest, showing him he’s exactly where he needs to be. He ends up snuffling, utterly unattractive; it’s such a habit to keep his feelings buried that even here, in Dimitri’s arms, it’s hard to let everything show freely.

“Claude…”

Once Dimitri is cooled from his outburst he guides Claude to look back at him with a hand on his cheek. His thumb rubs under his teary eye. “We are always telling each other to stop apologizing. We should start to listen.” He presses a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “It is a dreadful cliche but, I feel as if I’m always… falling when I’m with you. Not only in love but…”

He trails off, teeth biting his swollen bottom lip. “How do I put it? Mmph. It’s like, our relationship is an opportunity we thought was denied to us. It’s no wonder you second guess yourself or that I always feel so graceless…”

He knows he will always feel a mess, too many parts of himself he must keep stitched together… but no one ever told him how, no one ever gave him a spool of thread, lucky to have even a broken needle --

“Being with you is teaching me it’s okay. To not always be…” Perfect. Stoic. Strong. “...who other people want me to be. So I don’t mind if you feel unsure, so long as you don’t feel unsure about… me. Us.”

Already he wants to apologize for making Claude cry… but he holds back, practicing what he’s preaching.

“I love you and I stand by what I said from the very beginning. If we nourish what is between us, it will grow. Undoubtedly.”

Claude drinks in Dimitri’s words, in the soft way he kisses him and the assured way he holds him. Letting himself believe that Dimitri speaks true. And he remembers their first night together, too. When they’d kissed so fervently and wept in each other’s arms just as hard…

It’s hard for him to remember their beginnings with much kindness. Knowing how hesitant he’d been to fully fall into Dimitri’s arms, how that hesitation ended up robbing them both of valuable time they can never get back. And yet…

“I’ve never been unsure about us.” He swipes his fingertips under his eyes, does the same to Dimitri. “I’ve always been… so certain that I want to be with you. It’s just a matter of understanding what it is you see in me, that makes you want to do the same.” He gives a wet, self-deprecating smile. “I know you keep telling me. It just needs to sink through my thick skull, that’s all.”

He remembers their argument in the courtyard, when it had come out that Claude was waiting for Dimitri to leave him. He doesn’t understand, now, how he could have been so foolish, to feed himself such a terrible lie for so long.

“If I say I want to do better,” he says, feeling his emotions surge anew, “it’s because… because I know I wasn’t doing right by you, when we first started courting. I loved you so much, but I was afraid to show you for so long.” Kept his heart locked away in his chest, having swallowed the key too long ago.

“You’re so, so good, Dimitri. Dima.” Correcting himself, wanting to keep using those endearments Dimitri so treasures. “If I’m afraid of anything, it’s that I’m not showing you the level of kindness you deserve. That I might… deny us both, again.”

Truthfully, Dimitri remembers their beginnings in a more self-centered way. His relationship with Claude… while there were fears once exposing his body became a common event, their bond itself wasn’t… something he worried about. Dimitri was hiding his illness from everyone, not just Claude, and Dimitri’s role in his kingdom had selfishly superseded everything else.

But he never worried because of all the time they spent together, all the ways they made an effort for each other. There had been confusion, when Claude would walk away after oozing into Dimitri’s space but he always returned, always answered Dimitri’s invitations. No reason for Dimitri to be suspicious, when Claude’s character didn’t lend to dating Dimitri to take advantage of him.

He was crafty and wicked but he wasn’t cruel, too kind to do anything but hold Dimitri when he first cried.

It’s easier now to hear him, and understand a little better, what Claude is so afraid of.

“If I feel you are reverting back to your old ways, I will speak up.” Dimitri is nothing if not quick to get to the root of it. “I will tell you what I need. Be it your ear, your words, your affection. I am not one to sit back and do nothing.” He smiles in good humor. “I earn my fair share of trouble that way.”

His knuckles stroke over Claude’s wet cheek. “And I do the impossible, like ask you not to worry over things… I’m here, Claude. I am committed to you. I will show you all the reasons I love you.”

His darling Claude.

He remembers feeling so weak on their first night together. How it had ashamed Claude to weep in Dimitri’s arms; how he had felt powerless in the face of emotions that surged, all at once, into the light.

_I am weak, but you always make me feel stronger._

Claude doesn’t have to be perfect at this on his own. Hell, Dimitri is showing him he doesn’t need to be perfect at all. Dimitri will always be here, supporting him. Challenging him. Loving him as he becomes the man he’s always dreamed of being.

And Claude will always do the same for Dimitri.

“I know you will.” The longer he and Dimitri are together, the more he learns how much Dimitri cherishes and loves him... the more Claude slowly starts to believe it could be true. “I might always worry… but I promise to listen, too. To hear you when you say that my worries are getting the better of me.”

He leans into Dimitri’s touch, feeling the way he strokes over his cheek. Closing his eyes with a content little sigh as he lets himself rest in the arms of his beloved.

“I’d be lost without you, Dima. Thank you for always being my compass.”


End file.
